How Not to React: Thoughts on Breaking Reactive Habits #2

As I mentioned in my “complaining update” post recently, I went to Belize with an old friend, Erica. She’s someone I love and admire so much, and one of her best qualities is the equanimity I referred to in that post. One of the things I noticed about Erica during our week together was that when I asked her a question, she often paused before answering it. I never once saw her “react.” Instead I saw her ponder, mull, consider, think, reflect, introspect and then (and only then) choose to answer or act. I marveled at this because I am such a “reactor.” I can barely muzzle myself for an instant before I respond to anything – sometimes quite unwisely.

This pausing mechanism is one I’d do well to cultivate, but I sometimes feel like my neurons just fire so fast and my brain has so many “grooves” created over time that bypassing them is like trying to create a new flow for a raging river that’s already carved out a canyon! So here’s my plan for how not to react.

• Step 1: Count to 5.
• Step 2: Take three conscious breaths.
• Step 3: Ask “What is MOGO (most good) in this situation?”.
• Step 4: Reflect upon the impact of my decision.
• Step 5: Remind myself of what I consider to be the best qualities of human beings.
• Step 6: Choose to act consciously, rather than react unconsciously.

I’m working on it. The list is easy to write; so hard to enact.

What about you? How do you act upon your deepest wisdom rather than react through ingrained patterns?

Zoe Weil
Author of Most Good, Least Harm and
Above All, Be Kind

Image courtesy of cambodia4kidsorg via Creative Commons.

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