Last weekend some friends threw my husband and I a 25th wedding anniversary party. That’s a pretty big deal in many circles, and I’ve known folks who’ve spent quite a lot of money and used quite a lot of resources to celebrate their big day. We chose to do something different, and we’re really glad we did. We wanted our party to reflect our values of doing the most good and least harm for all, and to be fun and low-stress for everyone.We organized our party into three sections, so that people could come and go as their time and interests allowed. We had: a vegan dessert potluck; a talent/no talent show; and contra dancing. About 40 people attended, and most of them brought some type of dessert, so we spent the first hour nibbling on scrumptious tidbits and talking. There was everything from donuts to cupcakes to polenta cake to truffles to whiskey-infused cider. No one’s taste buds went unsatisfied.
We weren’t sure how well the talent/no talent show would go over. We’ve done them before at our co-housing community, but many of the people there were friends from other connections. Would they find it weird? Intimidating? Nope. People sang, solved a Rubik’s cube, demonstrated origami and paper beadmaking, told jokes, and the finale was a partner acrobatic performance that wowed everyone. Everyone who performed had an enthusiastic and appreciative audience.
We finished up with some fun and simple contra dancing, which had everyone laughing and smiling.
My husband and I have simple tastes, so we weren’t sure what people would think. But, numerous people told us it was one of the best parties they’ve attended – that it was such a unique and fun way to celebrate and much better than having three unstructured hours to fill with sitting around or talking. There was no expensive dinner, no costly decorations or band. No waste of resources with gifts we couldn’t use (the gift was being surrounded by so many of our friends). We sent out invitations via email, so there was no paper waste there. There was minimal stress for us, since a small group of friends took care of providing drinks and setting up the room. And a small group stayed at the end to wash dishes and clean up, smiling and chatting and nibbling on leftovers the whole time.
It was an unforgettable night, full of joy and happy memories for us. And it reflected our values of simplicity, compassion, and sustainability.
We’re also choosing simplicity for our own celebration of our 25 years of wedded bliss. Instead of spending a lot of money and resources to go on a big trip, together we’ve created a list of 25 fun, creative and/or challenging things that we want to do sometime in 2011. We’ve put them on note cards and posted them on our closet wall, so that we can see them every day. Most are modest: going on certain hikes in beautiful places in Oregon we haven’t been yet, taking a class together, trying out new recipes. And some are more challenging: doing the annual Portland Bridge Pedal, being able to each do 75 push-ups (at one time) by the end of the year. These tasks allow us to strengthen our bond, to support each other, to improve ourselves, to walk our talk, and instead of a one-shot trip that’s over in a week, we’ll be building memories all year long.
~ Marsha
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